


Parasol-fu

by YayForYuffie



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:33:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2522552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YayForYuffie/pseuds/YayForYuffie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lissa finally musters up the courage to ask Maribelle about this 'parasol-fu' she was always harping on about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parasol-fu

“Hey, Maribelle, there's something that I've been meaning to ask you about?”

“Whatever is it, darling? I shall answer any queries you have!”

“Well... I've always wondered about your parasol-fu. How did you find out about it? And who taught you?”

“Oh, that? I thought I had told you about it before, darling! I'm so sorry. But fear not, I shall delve into the details now. But first, let's get Brady and Olivia. I suppose they might be interested in learning about it as well. I shall be back in a few moments.”

Maribelle scurried out of the room. Lissa made a mental note to not tell Maribelle she scurried. Lissa could picture her reaction already. “Scurry? No, I would never do such a thing! Ugh, what a deplorably low-born method of transportation. Disavow yourself of such notions, Lissa!”

Whilst Lissa was distracting herself with that image, Maribelle returned with Brady and Olivia, who she promptly assigned seats. 

“Well then, I suppose it would be best if I told you about how I learned about Parasol-fu.”

* * * 

It had been a rather eventful trip to the capital, Maribelle mused. It was wonderful to see Lissa again, of course, but Lissa was worried about poor Emmeryn. Plegia had been harassing border towns with raids disguised as 'bandit attacks'. It fooled no-one, but since they could prove nothing, Plegia was untouched by reparations.

Emmeryn, who staunchly believed that all people desired peace, was horrified by the tremendous loss of life, and the wanton violence. She was hard-pressed to stop Chrom from leading a raid against Plegia. Eventually, Maribelle decided that she was in the midst of a dispute, and was making things more difficult on Lissa. Naturally, she excused herself, and departed the castle to return to Themis post-haste.

Distracted by her musings, Maribelle failed to notice the quintet of Plegian bandits that approached her.

“Well well boys, lookie at what we got here. A nice little girl. Eheheheh.”

Eugh. It appeared that these thugs were unaware of her noble status. “Begone, you barbarians! I have no wish to deal with your uncivilised ilk, today least of all. Now, away with you! Shoo!”

The bandits were unimpressed. “Listen here, little miss. You're going to do exactly as we say, or we're going to chop your pretty little head off.”

She sneered at the bandits. “Hmph! Do they not teach you how to speak to your betters in whatever hovel you hail from?” 

She noticed an unkempt red haired man sneaking up behind one of the thugs, who promptly gestured for her to not mention him. Perhaps he planned to rescue her, and earn himself a reward? He did look like the mercenary type... Well, she had her stave. If he revealed himself to be on her side, she could provide healing support. If he aimed to mug her, she could very easily strike him with it, and make her escape as he fought the bandits. She had yet to meet the person who could outrun her horse.

“Rightio boys, the hard way it is. Men! Kill he-urk!” The red headed man struck him in the back of the head, and knocked him unconscious.

“Hail! Gregor is making with the rescue, yes?” Ah, so that was his name. “Pass the umbrella, please!”

Ugh. It was a parasol. Nobody ever got that right. “Here!” She tossed him the parasol, and made use of his distraction to retreat behind the mercenary.

“Thank you, beautiful lady.” Maribelle took a moment to blush.

“Graargh!” With that attempt of a war cry, the first of the barbarians charged at Gregor, axe raised. Gregor stepped forward to meet him, and swiftly struck him in the throat. The Plegian collapsed, gasping. Gregor struck him in the temple with the parasol, and the Plegian drifted off into unconsciousness. Gregor stepped over his body, and faced the remaining three bandits.

Deciding that single combat was a good idea, despite having lost two comrades already, the third bandit charged forward. Gregor stepped forward and with a flourish, opened the parasol. Flinching from the movement, the Pleigian stepped back. Gregor seized the opportunity to kick him in the groin.

Maribelle let out a very unladylike snort of laughter.

Closing the parasol, Gregor flipped it in the air, and grabbed the tip. He hooked the hilt around the bandits' shoulder, and pulled the bandit towards him. The bandit stumbled towards Gregor, who tripped him up, and truck at the back of his neck with the parasol hilt. The bandit was removed from the fight by virtue of no longer being conscious.

Finally deciding to take initiative, the remaining duo charged towards Gregor, who also rushed forward. With a graceful flip one would not expect from a man of his age, Gregor landed on the shoulders of the first bandit. Using the unfortunate bandit as a springboard, Gregor leapt into the air, and began a descent towards the second bandit.

The bandit grinned, and swung his axe.

Maribelle gasped. 

Gregor flicked open the parasol, and defying all known laws of physics, the parasol slowed his descent immensely, allowing the bandits attack to sail underneath him. Gregor then kicked him in the face. Landing with an impressive degree of elegance, Gregor assaulted the bandit with a series of lightning quick thrusts, and dashed backwards.

What.

The bandit threw up, and then collapsed in a pool of his vomit.

Gregor faced the final bandit, who just sighed and threw his weapons away. “I surrender.” 

“Gregor accept surrender.” Gregor also knocked out the final bandit.

Maribelle stared at him, nonplussed.

Gregor waved.

An awkward silence ensued. 

After a few minutes of silence, Maribelle began to splutter incoherently. Gregor patiently waited for her to make sense.

Maribelle inhaled deeply. “Allow me to start over.” She curtsied. “My name is Maribelle, daughter of the duke of Themis. I would like to thank you for your assistance. If you accompany me, I shall be able to provide you with compensation for your actions. But there is something that I'm afraid that I must take umbrage with.”

“Oh?”

“You've broken one of the laws of nature. One simply cannot use a parasol to slow their fall like that! It's something that is simply not done! Such a blatant disregard for the laws of the land... I shan't abide it!”

“Gregor can explain, if pretty lady will stop with with the noises!”

Maribelle squawked. 

“Gregor be using the ancient art of parasol-fu.”

That had to be made up.

“Gregor know of man who makes with the teaching in Themis! Yates, he was called.”

Little did Gregor know, Yates was a member of her staff. Before he was thrown into prison for breaking the law, of course. One of the laws of nature. Well, at least now she knew why!

She would not always be as lucky as she was today, however. Perhaps it would be best to take some of these... parasol-fu lessons.

“Well, I suppose that I may as well take advantage of a tutor near to my hometown. You have my thanks, Gregor.”

“You are welcome, pretty lady.”

* * *

“And that's the story of how I learned about parasol-fu.”

She looked up expectantly.

Her friends and son stared at her.

“Is there a problem?”

“Maribelle... Are you serious?”

“Of course, Lissa. You know my japes are far more amusing than tales like that.”

Brady scowled at her. Lies.

“Umm... That does explain a few things, now that I think about it. Like how you balanced Frederick and his horse on your parasol when we were fighting Yen'fay. Or how you managed to carry Kellam around with you, as well as two axes, and three staffs with no ill effects...”

Maribelle smiled. “See? I told you back then that there was a logical explanation for that!”

Lissa frowned. She lost a bet with Gaius about this. She had assumed that Maribelle was secretly a body builder under that dress. She even had a nickname for that explanation – Barabelle. Looks like she owed someone some money.

Outside the tent, Gregor smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Just something that had been fluttering through my head for a while. Don't tell Miriel or Laurent about it. They might be driven insane.


End file.
